PART 3 of 3: My Dad

PART 3:

GRIEF. We all grieve differently, this I learned. I have been through minimal trials up until that point in my life so I didn't know how I would grieve. I wouldn't consider myself an emotional person, and I wouldn't say this experience made me overly emotional. I, of course, cried a lot. I cried in Nephi's arms, in my bed with my back turned so he wouldn't notice, in the shower, during conversations -- but I wasn't sobbing uncontrollably at any point. 

When we got home we went straight back to normal life. I think we got back on a Saturday and I had work on Monday. I am the sole provider in my family right now so there was no choice. There was no time to sit at home and "grieve" in a traditional sense of the word. I can remember going to work that morning and taking the stairs and before opening the door taking a deep breath annnnnnnnd I was on the wrong floor! Ha. But everything was the same? I was new to the office and my boss didn't tell anyone. It was super awkward. She only told people that I had a family death so when a co-worker mentioned something and then I said something about my Dad she gasped because she didn't know it was a parent. Awkward.

It was hard at home because I didn't know how to bring it up and talk about it when I wanted to. I wanted to talk about it all the time, really. Not in a sad way, but talk about him and his memories and how I was feeling during certain situations. I went from being knee-deep in family time and talking about Dad to nothing. It was strange and awkward. Nephi was so so unbelievably supportive, but he couldn't read my mind. 

Some days were hard. They were hard because I was going through a lot of "firsts" but also had a little resentment. I couldn't be home with my family and be near my Mom to help. I couldn't just take a day to decompress, I had to keep moving and working (2 jobs), changing diapers, making dinner, church responsibilities and keeping my home in shape. People wouldn't talk about it or bring it up and they made it awkward. I would see people for the first time since it had happened and they would say NOTHING. It was so hard for me. The world kept going. I felt like I was just jogging at a slow pace behind it, with lava chasing me so I had no choice but to keep going. It felt so unfair so many times. 

There were a lot of firsts that were hard. His birthday was hard because I realized how young he was (58). My parents anniversary was rough thinking of my Mom without a spouse. Father's Day was hard scrolling through social media seeing everyone worshiping their Dads (it is still hard). I ran into a few work issues and career decisions that totally made me breakdown. He always had the answers and best guidance for me - I still feel very lost without him to counsel on those issues and to this day are my hardest moments. 

When good things happen it was hard, too. When I would have a major success at work, I couldn't call him. When I got called to be the president of our women's church group I cried thinking that he wasn't there to tell me that I would be able to handle it. Even when I ran my first half-marathon since having Marlo, tears filled my eyes when I thought of how he would have been so proud - he loved when we challenged ourselves physically. He missed some good vacations too! Like Telluride and Hawaii when we went to honor him. 

Now I look back at the first year and I am grateful we had things to come home to. What forced me to keep moving, made me stronger. I felt my Dad so often in the first year. It's been a major blessing to be busy and be needed. I feel it's made me a better Mom, wife, friend, Relief Society President, co-worker, etc. 

In January we lost Nephi's Dad and that was so hard. It was interesting to be on the other side, to see how I can comfort my spouse the way he did me. It was hard because it brought back more memories than I anticipated. It was even harder to see my spouse go through the trial, Nephi's Dad was an amazing man. We now both have lost our fathers and Marlo has lost both her Grandpas, and we are only 30 years old. It's crazy to think about that, but we have compassion for each other. 

Overall, time has been the most haunting. Some days move so slow and others so fast. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him, but there are days where it's more seldom. One minute I am looking back and thinking of all that has happened since he has passed and think he has missed SO much and then next I am thinking that life will feel so long and boring without him. 

I am grateful I got to spend 28 years of my life with him. He was my biggest fan and I couldn't have asked for a better Father.

PART 2 of 3: My Dad

PART 2:

My Dad went into the hospital on December 10, 2015 with a high fever, feeling very fatigued. Up to this point, he had been to the hospital many times. My Mom would usually send out a text or an email to tell us. It felt fairly common for our family and we would just waited for updates from Mom. We had meant to call him the next day as he was admitted overnight but were out late so we said we would call the next day. When we tried to call my Mom explained that he was in a lot of pain and not in a position to talk. They had sedated him. 

A few days later, not a lot of updates, we decided to FaceTime my Mom. She looked exhausted. She has been battling this along his side for years, but this exhaustion seemed off. I remember after us talking for a bit and getting updates I asked, "Mom, is this serious? Is he going to die or something?" and she quickly assured me no and that they were getting more updates. She did say he was in a lot of pain and that scared us. 

My best friend Emily went to visit my Dad in the hospital with her family. She told me it was bad - that he didn't look - and that I should try and make it home. She even offered to pay for my flights (did I mention she is the best?). I was so conflicted because we had been in the position a few times and I never knew what to do. I was also new to my job and had little PTO so I was trying to use it wisely because we were suppose to go to Idaho for Christmas. We were also poor students! I was so stressed about it. At one point I had thought to just fly home to visit for a few days and then meet Nephi in Idaho. It was a stressful few days.

On Thursday, December 17 I went to the office. I had meetings in Pueblo (2 hours away from Denver) so I left with a co-worker that morning. We chatted about personal stuff the whole way there and back. About an hour outside of Denver we started talking more about family stuff. I talked about my Dad and his sickness. I told her how eye-opening it was to see a parent be sick but about what a great Dad he was to us. About 30 minutes away from Denver I got a text from my Mom in a group text saying that Dad was not doing well. She said things were not getting better and that she was waiting for more updates from the doctors. 

We pulled into the office, my stomach was churning from being car sick plus worried about my Dad. I got into my car and called Nephi before I left the parking garage. I told him that I probably need to go but again, I was conflicted. Before I hit the first stoplight my Mom was calling on the other line. I hung up with Nephi and answered my Mom. She was quiet and I heard a sniffle. "MOM????"

She said she had just spoke with the doctors and they told her there was a 90% chance Dad wouldn't make it through the night. I pulled over. I said we would get on the next flight possible. She then sent the text to the family asking everyone to get to the hospital now. All my siblings were in AZ and they all rushed there. 

I walked in the door and Nephi embraced me. I couldn't believe this was happening. Marlo was playing, she had no idea what was going on. He had already looked up flights and we booked them to be on the first flight in the morning. We went and sat on the bed and waited for what would come next. I was getting texts from Emily this whole time. She was there. She was telling me everything going on. Describing it so I felt I was there. I am so grateful she was there. It meant more to me than I have been able to explain to her. 

We got a FaceTime call. He popped up. He was hooked up to machines and he looked awful. My siblings and Mom surrounded him. I told her we had booked flights and would be there by 9am the next day and she said the doctors said not to wait, they were going to take him off life support. He had fluid in his lungs and kidney and organ failure - he was in bad shape. He was still heavily sedated. We said our goodbyes. I still have screenshots of that call. I scroll past them in my phone every once in a while but never click on them. They are scary, but I still keep them. 

We packed up, we were not ready to leave town. We weren't suppose to leave to Idaho until the next week. I told my bosses and we asked the Bishop for a ride. I did actually sleep that night. We woke up really early and caught our flight. Emily picked us up. 

Usually when we come to town my Dad loved to greet us. It was strange pulling up and him not at the door waiting. It was so nice to see my Mom and siblings. It felt so surreal. From the moment we got together, we started with the planning. Throughout the whole time we were laughing and crying - recalling memories. Although it was a sad time, we were so happy to be together. 

It was a Friday and the funeral was on that next Tuesday. The love and support we got from family friends was unbelievable. My Mom has the greatest friends and members of our church. I grew up with these people - these are family friends of 20+ years. Many people knew my Dad in the community from his work and reputation. That love and support from them carried us - I will never forget it. 

Watching my Mom was hard. She tried to be positive, but it's really hard to grieve with all those people. There were always being in the house, we were never really alone. But I think that helped a bit too. Grief is different for everyone so we were all learning what each other wanted. For now, we wanted to all be together as much as possible. 

I got a lot of texts and calls from friends that I SO appreciated it. A lot of people said "You don't have to text back" but I did because it was so nice to hear from them. And then there were people who you would think that would reach out that didn't. A few instances really bothered me, but I now realize that they probably felt awkward. I have learned that when in doubt, reach out. Even if you feel abnormal or out of place doing it. 

Before the funeral we had the chance to dress my Dad in special religious clothing. This would be the first time I would see him and I just wasn't sure if I wanted to. My Mom told me I should, and I am so glad I did. We walked into the room and he was on a table in a white button-up shirt and white pants. When I saw him my whole body filled with warmth and peace. I couldn't help but smile. He looked so good. He didn't look sick. His stomach wasn't bloated. His shoulders were broad instead of narrow and thin. His hair was long- he said he wasn't going to cut it until he got a transplant! I could have stayed in that room forever. 

We did stay for some time. We shared memories of him and laughed. We did a lot of laughing those few days. He was such a fun guy to talk about and a major part of all of our lives. We really felt carried throughout that time, and I know that's because of our religious beliefs. Without going into too much detail (if you have questions, ask!), we believe there is life after death and that we will be able to be reunited with our loved ones. This concept has always been something I have had faith in but it felt so real and brought me SO much comfort. It's so important to hold on to those beliefs - without them I know I would have handled this all differently. 

The funeral was beautiful. We were very particular on the music, he loved music, and I got to share a few words about him. It wasn't a place where we were all sobbing. There was a little anxiety going into it, but I just didn't want it to end. The whole time, talking about my Dad, there is nothing better! Nephi made this beautiful tribute to him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXTqvJdbfoo 

We stayed in AZ until after New Years. I got bereavement and only had to use 2 days of PTO. It was a miracle that my office shuts down Christmas Day until New Years Eve - that's unusual and it's what allowed us to stay so long with not a lot of stress. Nephi, being a student, had even more time off and the day he passed away was Nephi's last day of classes that semester, so it worked out well. 

That was the best Christmas I can remember. Although Dad wasn't with us, we felt him so much. We all dropped everything to be together. We were together from early morning to late evening every day. We all made sacrifices. Talked a lot. It brought us closer together.

Go to part 3 of 3.

PART 1 of 3: My Dad

It's been 18 months since my Dad died. And about that long since I last blogged.

I have wanted to write my thoughts about losing my Dad for a long time. Part of my delay is because life has been crazy since then and blogging has been put on the back burner and also I feel I have still been learning from the experience. After getting through the first year I feel I can put some thoughts to it on "paper".

PART 1:

The beginning of this health journey goes many years before this. I can remember most of his health issues stating in 2007 when he had back surgery and then in 2008 he had a heart attack. I was in college and on a date when I got the call. I'll never forget that. 

His health declined but he pushed on. He "retired" from his "desk job" in 2007 to pursue his hobby of designing custom homes. He was self-taught and incredible. Most of his life was filled with high stress jobs and taking on a lot of responsibility. I have never met anyone who works as hard as he did - he was a great example of a solid work ethic. 

In 2010 after experiencing gestational issues he was diagnosed with IBS. I was on my mission from 2008-2010 and I remember him writing about the pain and discomfort. Most people say that your family is "blessed" when you go on a mission but with the drowning economy and his health updates, I felt differently. But he was my biggest fan. Not too long before he passed away he kind of showed me his journal on his computer. I had no idea he had written so much. But I found out that he put all my emails in the journal and would talk about how my emails lifted his spirits. 

In 2011 he was finally diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the Liver. There was a lot of confusion around the diagnosis but he had liver doctors and specialists. His whole medical portfolio was so frustrating and confusing for all of us. We'd get updates from my Mom and saw a lot of frustration and heartache. He'd spends days in bed and then he would be out doing yard work. He would eat pizza and feel great and then he would have a slice of bread and be violently ill. 

During this whole time I have lived away from home. I'd go home occasionally and dynamics for sure had changed. He wasn't able to do as much and was usually in his room. The first time it felt super real was during a family vacation to Oceanside in May 2014. He neglected his medications and it landed him in the ER. If he didn't take medication to fight the toxins (because his liver wouldn't) he would basically get poisoned in his brain and cause confusion. It was strange seeing him that way. He hated that medication. 

Honestly, I don't do well with sick people. I can't stand the sight of blood. I usually hold my breath when I go to the hospital. It was hard to see him like that and then adapt to this new way of life for us and our Dad - he was a new person. Although the last few years of his life was fairly miserable, we saw a lot of humility. He was loving. He always wanted to get a hug or hold your hand. We would lay in bed with him and watch movies with him - it was normal for us to spend time with him in his room but you can imagine how lonely this was for him. My experiences with him this way are limited due to being away. My siblings who were home and my Mom can vouch for more of the details and they are all SAINTS for being there with him, especially my angel Mom and sweet sister Rachel. 

We went home for Christmas in 2015. and for Caitlin and Zachs wedding. Marlo was just a few months old and Dad was having fun with her, even though he didn't love tiny babies (similar to me - he always felt like he was going to drop them). We had our cousins in from South Africa, the wedding was gorgeous and it was an amazing Christmas. A few days before Christmas he experiences terrible pains in his stomach. He was literally rolling on the ground, grabbing his gut, in the most pain I had ever seen him in. We all took turns with him. I rubbed his feet and his belly with essential oils doing anything I could to help. It was awful. I remember him saying that he felt like he had been shot in the stomach. He was in tears. 

He ended up in the hospital and on Christmas Eve, him and his partner in crime snuck out of the hospital. Literally, he still have IV's in his arms! Thats explains a lot about him - he did not like being sick and he did not like being away from his family and did anything to be together. Mom had a meltdown (it was funny, actually) - this did not look good for getting on the liver transplant list! 

Before we left to go back to Idaho we were talking with Dad and making plans to see him next (we was always begging for us to come visit). He was laying in bed and said "let's go to Hawaii". He loves Hawaii. We, of course, were all about it! But he wanted to go soon. So we went the first week of March and it was the best trip! Of course he had limitations, but he tried his best. He even went kayaking. Him and my BIL Chase ended up tipping the kayak and Chase literally saved his life. The shock from the cold water and lack of muscle from not being active, he barely had the strength. That was a little scary to watch. 

I went home in the summer for about a month while we were transitioning into moving to Colorado. It was so nice to be with him so much. He wanted to take a trip with just our family so we went to Sedona (his favorite) and the Grand Canyon. I remember one night watching a show with him in his room with Marlo and she just leaned over and gave him a kiss. I'll never forget his face! He loved how friendly and social Marlo was. When he met her when she was born he kept saying his special she was. 

I went to a doctors appointment while I was there. I wanted to see why things were so confusing! His doctor was nice. She gave him a hug and tried to empathize with him. He had a lot of discomfort, for many reasons, but one of the reasons was the toxins that would build up causing ascites so he would go in for a paracentesis procedure. This become more frequent as time went on. It would make it hard for him to even breath. 

In October I made 1 more trip to AZ before I started my new job in Colorado. I am so glad I did. It was a short trip but just nice to have more time with him, and for Marlo to be with him. Throughout the next few weeks we would talk on the phone and text. Most of them about work and about Marlo. Our last conversations were about me accepting a second job. He told me about how some risks and sacrifices are worth it, it was great advice and because I took that second job, I now have my current job. 

In November he started undergoing tests to get on the liver transplant list - finally! A lot of the hold up over time was figuring out whether his body could handle an actual transplant process. They want to give livers to those who can survive the surgery, obviously, so there was concern. I think they had concluded that if he got on the list, he would have to have it done at a special transplant center to handle this sort of trauma, but I don't remember all those details.

On one of our calls a few days after the tests he said he had a dream that he didn't get the liver and that he died. He said he really hoped it wasn't true, but that it felt so real. A few days after that they got the results and he had failed the heart and oxygen tests and he was discouraged. They started making plans of what to do next.

Go to PART 2 of 3. 

Welcome to Denver

We made it to Denver!

Loading up and leaving Idaho Falls was a cinch, but unloading was another story. Unfortunately, the ward we moved into didn't show to help us move even though we asked for help. I had major anxiety over this happening so thanks to that - I hired movers. The best $250 we spent the whole trip! We had 3 big guys all to ourselves for 2 hours. We live on the 3rd floor so it was a task but they were so nice and helpful and we couldn't have done it without their help.

We also couldn't have done it without my Mom. My brain was so fogged the last week before we moved with handling all the logistics of the move, wrapping up things at work, trying to manage Marlo, and fitting in all the family activities. My Mom literally picked me up and carried me through this move. We left our place sparkling clean thanks to her and Caitlin and Zach. And of course my sweetest sister-in-law Angie who was so helpful and always willing and able to watch Marlo. She has a good intuition for service and she can read me really well so she knew when to step in at the most perfect times. So grateful for Angie!

Finding a place to live in Denver was HARD but I think we found the perfect place for us. Through divine intervention, we found someone through a friend of a friend and took over their contract. We didn't have to pay the deposit, we were grandfathered in at a lower price (for now), and it's in a great location and ward. It's in a gated community with pools, a gym with fitness classes, a park, a 1.5 mile walking path AROUND a lake - it's a beautiful neighborhood! With all of these amenities included the rent doesn't feel like the biggest blow but it's definitely higher than we ever planned to pay. Also - it doesn't hurt that there is a Costco, Target, and Sprouts within 1 mile of us. ;)

EXHAUSTED.

IKEA trip! Such a good baby through this whole move. 

Here are a few "before" pictures of our place. "After" pictures will eventually be posted.

Love the living room and the vaulted ceilings. One of the perks (maybe only perk?) of living on the 3rd floor. 

This kitchen is much smaller than our other one, but a little more cabinet space which is nice. It's really easy to make it dirty and really easy to make it clean. Also, our last kitchen was tucked behind a wall so I didn't have to have the dishes done and now I kinda do. It's a good thing because I have been pretty good at making sure the kitchen is clean each night. 

We were debating on whether to get a kitchen table or not and we ended up getting one. I don't love it, but I was so panicked to have one because Marlo was struggling with her eating routine and I thought it would help (it has). We paid $10 for a tall one at the Goodwill and we will probably end up getting a different one eventually but it works for now! 

PS - Look at all those windows - the natural light in here is so amazing! It's one of my favorite things. 

I didn't get a picture of Marlo's room but in the picture, on the right, is a den which is Marlo's room. We put up a curtain to go across the entry way (thank you IKEA) and I got creative in how to store her clothes and such. It's not ideal, but it's cheaper than getting a 2 bedroom!

Nephi had his white coat ceremony and it was so fun to be part of it. His class is so fun - all girls except for him and 1 other guy. The professors and everyone have been so warm and welcoming. Since Creighton is a Catholic school, referencing God is natural and I love that. I even spoke to the lady that interviewed him and said, "Oh, you're the lady we were praying for!" and she smiled and said, "thank you - I needed the prayers!" Nephi is the only member of the LDS church in his class, no surprise, so it's kind of a cool opportunity for us to share some of what we believe. Like I said, his class is so wonderful and they all get along really well.

So far, we LOVE Denver. The people here are so nice. And I truly mean that. Everywhere we go people are ooo'ing and awe'ing over Marlo. In Idaho Falls you don't get that because everyone is just so concerned with their own babies. I think people here are shocked that we go out with a baby because we always get stares!

Although the ward didn't help us move in (pretty transient area) everyone has been very welcoming. We went to the zoo with some mommy's this week and did a craft day. In my 3 years in Idaho Falls, I never had any women invite me to do anything like this with them. It is different in demographics a little though - there are a lot of students in our area and then a lot of old people. So far, I feel like we are going to make some great friends here and that is a huge blessing and something I have been praying for daily.

Heavenly Father is so good to us. Although I struggled the first few weeks here, I am feeling all the blessings of this move including Nephi being SO happy with his schooling. The load is starting to get heavier but he is being so good and disciplined and we are so proud of him! Marlo is also settling in well after having a little relapse in eating and naps - I think we are back on track, knock on wood!

Blessing Day

1|4|2015 

Marlo Ingrid Guymon

Sandcreek 3rd Ward - Lincoln Stake - Idaho Falls, Idaho

Blessing by Father, Nephi Guymon

In the circle: Martin Smith, Boyd Guymon, Sheridan Smith, Zach Johnson, Tim Cannon, Donald Guymon, Darryl Guymon, Brent Guymon, Tyson Guymon, Jonathan Guymon, and Andrew Bodily

 

{Birth Story: Marlo Ingrid Guymon}

B I R T H * S T O R Y
Written by Mallory

Tuesday, September 2, 2014
We go to our doctors appointment and I am dilated to a 2 and 90% effaced. I was tempted to have them strip my membranes because with the next day as my due date and having had no contractions, I knew that I wasn't going to have this baby anytime soon. I opted not to and tried to stick with allowing this baby to come on her own time (against my selfish desires). OH, and it was my birthday too. I kept forgetting that. I got my carpets cleaned and went to dinner with my parents and Nephi.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014
NO BABE - Still working. I want to die.

Thursday, September 4, 2014
I think I had 1 contraction in the morning and it freaked me out. I went to work and told my boss I was going to start my maternity leave, packed up my desk and was out of there and out to lunch with Nephi to enjoy our last moments of just the two of us.

Friday, September 5, 2014
NO BABE. Enjoyed the day by organizing the final details of my house and worked on Marlo's room. Took an evening walk with Nephi and ate pineapple to get this baby going!

Saturday, September 6, 2014
Woke up at 4:30 a.m. with burning tummy pain. Went to the bathroom (no signs of baby), went back to bed. Woke up at 8 a.m. with burning tummy pain (almost like cramps). Laid in bed waiting for Nephi to wake up. Had another burning tummy pain and told him that I THINK I am having contractions  - I am not sure. Over the past few weeks anytime I would have braxton hicks or anything that felt slightly like contractions (to my current understanding) he would want to start timing. Uh, NO. I did not want that. I only wanted to time when it for for real - and I knew I would know when that was. So, after another burning tummy pain, we officially starting timing them on the app on my phone. For the remainder of the day I had contractions every 20-40 minutes. At one point, I went almost an hour during a nap and we decided to go for a walk to the gas station to get a Vitamin Water to take to the hospital.  Our bags were all packed and we got showered and ready for the hospital earlier on in the day which made the day feel looooong. Nephi was a little zealous to say the least.

During this whole day full of contractions and preparation, I kept catching myself not wanting the contractions to grow closer together, but kept saying on the outside that I wanted her to come. I clearly felt conflicted, scared, and nervous for the whole thing. I really wanted to meet her, but I really liked just being Nephi and I and our great life together. But, the feelings of not wanting to be pregnant anymore would soon remind me and then I would want her out! I look back now and can say that I LOVED carrying Marlo, but at the time I wasn't so flowery.

Around 9 p,m. we were all sitting around watching "Saving Mr. Banks" and my Dad made the comment, "If you don't stay active, you are not having that baby tonight." That scared me because maybe it meant that I was going to be having these contractions (that were getting worse and more evenly 20 minutes apart for 60 seconds/piece) for a few more DAYS!? So I called the hospital and told them where I was at and asked them if I should stay active or sleep. They said to try and sleep and labor as long as I can at home. My parents left and went to my brothers to stay the night there and Nephi and I started getting ready for bed. I, of course, was interrupted every 15-20 minutes with contractions. I told him to get the hospital bags out of the car because it had our tooth brushed and make-up in it.

At around 11 they started getting to be 10-12 minutes apart and every 2-3 contractions I would have a back labor and that KILLED!!! I couldn't get comfortable and they were getting LONGER! 90 seconds to 2 minutes some of them and I started sweating. When they were around 8 minutes apart, I called the hospital and told them where I was at and they said to come in. My doctor told me to wait until they were 5 minutes apart so I kind of felt like a baby that I was already exhausted and ready for the meds! (Up until this point, I hadn't made a decision on whether I would get an epidural or not, but you better believe after a few back labor contractions, I was going to get the epidural!)

By the time we got to the hospital, my contractions were 5 minutes apart and I started getting so nervous. When I get nervous, I get quiet. I don't remember even talking on the way tot he hospital besides to tell Nephi that I was having another contraction and hit the button on my app. Nephi started recording as soon as we stepped out of the car and started walking towards the doors. We (ahem - I) waddled to the doors and rang the bell because the doors were locked,

"Hi, can I help you?"
"Yes, we need to get up to labor and delivery."
"Are you visiting someone?"

{{It's 12:30 at this point.}}

"Uh, no, I am in labor."

We walked up the stairs because I was feeling brave and as soon as we opened the door to the L & D floor, a nurse greeted me, "Hi Mallory, your room is this way..." I went to the room and they gave me my gown. I was shocked because I thought they would take me into an exam room first to make sure I was in labor, but I guess they believed me! The nurse was really relaxed and just watched me go through my contractions, and I tried to breath and I kept repeating, "I can't, I can't" and she didn't even try to coach me through it...ummm, that is why I came, I need help, lady! They asked me a ton of questions of course including when my last doctors appointment was and how dilated was I at that appointment. I told her I was at a 2 on Tuesday and you could tell she wasn't too convinced I was actually in real labor. But, I proved her wrong when she checked me and I was at a 5 and 100% effaced. Yeah, lady. Let's get this thing going! She said my cervix felt like I have already had a baby it was so soft! (TMI? Maybe. Sorry.) Then she asked the magical question and 3 contractions later, I had a needle in my back. The anesthesiologist was amazing and let Nephi watch and walked me through everything. It could not have gone smoother!


Nephi's parents arrived and we chatted for a bit. The plan was to start me on pitocin and then have the doctor break my water at 7 a.m. and the nurse said that the baby should be here by noon. GREAT. Planning...I like planning, I thought. Nephi's parents left and my Dad left and Nephi and my Mom shared the couch bed (don't worry, it was big enough and hardly awkward because they are best friends). I was in and out of sleep for a bit. The nurse said she would come back in at 5 a.m. to start the pitocin so I think we set an alarm to wake up at that time to be ready for her but she didn't end up coming back in until about 6 ish and by that time Nephi's parents were back in and everyone was ready for me to get going. Kind of a weird feeling to have people just looking at you waiting for you to pop a baby out.

**I didn't have my original doctor. He was out of town, you know, hunting in Africa, and I was left with the only doctor he had on call who I had a 1/2 dozen people tell me NOT to go to. Great...just great...**

They said the doctor probably wouldn't be coming till a little later that morning and so we knew we had a little bit more time. I was in and out of sleep until I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up so I yelled at my Mom and Nephi to help lift me up and we grabbed a barf bag and they sat me up just in time to barf. I did that another time an hour or so later and the anesthesiologist came back in and gave me some Zofran. This was a good sign, however, that she was dropping and pushing up on my stomach! I think it was around 9 a.m. that I was to a 10 but still no sign of the doctor...

Over the next 2 hours the nurses proceed to tell us he was coming in a 1/2 hour...oh he has an emergency c-section...oh he wants your water to break on your own...suddenly, I had an oxygen mask on because Marlo was in a little distress. My levels were great but her heart rate was up a little but they kept coming up with excuses as to why they were waiting. At one point, I thought my water had broken but it was just a little gush of fluids. Ugh.

Finally, around 11 a.m. my water broke! I told the nurse and she lifted up the blanket and her eyes widened. "Oh, yes. Let's change your sheets." She quickly left the room and then came back and explained that I Marlo had a bowl movement inside of me and that there was likelihood of meconium aspiration so when she was born that they wouldn't give her to me right away and that they would have a NICU and a respiratory nurse there to treat her and clean out her lungs. I was a little upset that I wouldn't get to hold her right away but mostly just agreed with whatever the nurses said would be best.

Over the next little bit my contractions increased and I started to have a little pain -- or more pressure. I could feel the waves of the contractions slightly but mostly felt a constant rectal pressure that was increasing. Oh man, it was painful. I told the nurse and she hit the button for more medicine in my epidural but it didn't really help. When the anesthesiologist came in I told him and he was pretty worried. He gave me a bit more but said he was really concerned about break-through pain and said it was very dangerous at this point. He said he would come back and check in 30 minutes and at that point we were getting ready to start pushing and they said the doctor was on his way in the building. The pain was still coming so he gave me another round (i think?) and then around 12:30 I started pushing with every contraction. After 1 round, the doctor came in, shook my hand awkwardly over my widespread legs, and checked me all dressed up in his church clothes. So glad he went to church that morning - thanks for being worthy, Doc. He looked at the nurse and said, call me when your ready, and then left the room.

By this time we had a new nurse who had been with us since 7 a.m. and she was awesome. She communicated, repeated herself, was very clear with what to expect and what to do and how things would feel. She also didn't set up any false expectations throughout the day. She was kind of all business and I liked it. Nephi grabbed 1 leg and my Mom grabbed the other leg. My Dad was on the other side of the curtain and I started pushing. At  5 to 1 p.m. the nurse yelled for another nurse to call the doctor. Within a minute he was back in the room and as he was putting on the gloves I started getting another contraction and the nurse said, "Okay, ready...go..." I pushed 3 times, and the doctor had his gloves on and was down at work and said, "push again..." so I pushed again and he said, "can you do 1 more?" I nodded yes, and pushed and then she was out!  (Pushing was not nearly as hard as I expected but I think that's because I was really clear with the anesthesiologist that I did want to feel enough to push and it was the perfect amount of medicine for me to do that and not have pain.)

Marlo Ingrid Guymon

9|7|14 - 6 lbs 9 ounces  -1:03 p.m.

She came out and he put her on my belly for only a moment. I just starred at her, knowing that she would be swept away, and then Nephi cut the cord and she was gone. I mostly watched Nephi watch her. My Mom was hugging and kissing me and I was so distracted watching my cute little family across the room. Nephi's face was priceless! It felt like they were over there FOREVER! Then I remembered the doctor and him and the nurse were exchanging words and stats back and forth. The nurse kept saying "he" and "him" referring to Marlo and I was like, "I know you are saying 'he', but it is a girl, right?" "Oh, yes, it's a girl! Sorry!". GEEZE. Scared me.

Suddenly, I felt the tugging. "Ouch" I said and the doctor finally looked up at me as he brought a thread up. "Uh, is everything okay?" I asked. "Ya, just performing an episiotomy." Oh, okay. What? -- Seriously though. Through all my reading and researching I didn't even know what that was. They mentioned it to me when I was signing all the papers but I didn't ask for an explanation because I didn't expect any complications [which really bugs me when people automatically think they are going to have complications with their birth or pregnancy without any prior knowledge or history]. So he tugged for what seemed like forever and I felt all too much - which really made me question how much more medicine I got...he didn't bill me for 2 epidurals which he said he may have to do I don't think he gave me another one. Wow, I am brave ;).  No, but it really hurt afterward.

FINALLY, they brought sweet baby Marlo over to me. It took a few minutes while they were sucking out her lungs for her to cry, but she cried most when they did her footprints. Nephi carried her over to me all swaddled up and I got to hold her. She had her eyes open and she looked like a little alien. Haha - Okay, maybe like a little dolly alien. We all throught she looked a lot like Ava (my niece) and we just starred at her and looked at her features and pointed out which features were what and took pictures. Then Nephi's family came in for a few minutes and got to hold her and then left. I fed her (she did OK) and then bathed while Nephi and my Mom went with the other nurse to bathe Marlo. All I have to say is those nurses are special souls. As she was wiping me down after my bath I said to her, "You're a good person." She just looked at me and we laughed.

I met Marlo in the recovery room and she had a cute little purple polkadot bow headband that Nephi picked out for her - it was perfect for her! So we spent another day and a half in the hospital. Had a lot of sweet visitors, great nurses, and zero to hardly any sleep but we drooled over her and we still are!

2014 in Review

Since we haven't posted in a year and a half...we thought we would break down what happened each month of 2014 and create a clean slate for 2015 blogging!

PS - All the links are the vlogs that Nephi has made about those particular events. We stopped bloggin', but kept vloggin'!

JANUARY - Found out we were pregnant! See me take the pregnancy test! (Well, not actually "take" the test, but wait outside the bathroom with Nephi and see my face white with shock.) We went to AZ to tell my parents and get out of the winter for a few days.

FEBRUARY - Revealed that we were having a baby! Shocked an awed almost everyone, especially our families. I traveled my last week of my first trimester for work to Denver and then onto Orlando. What a trip!

MARCH - Went to a Utah Jazz game with some coworkers. This was the second time we have been able to go and get the CEO's floor seats! It's an incredible opportunity.

APRIL - Celebrated our 3rd Anniversary! Also, Mom visited for Easter and was here when we found out that we were having a GIRL! Oh, and we went to see Ellie Goulding in concert with Tim and Kira. It was around the time that Marlo starting getting super active kicks and she jammed out with me and I was on my feet for 2 hours and didn't die.

MAY - Smith Family Reunion in Oceanside, CA. Nothing better than being on the beach with your whole family! Spent a few days in AZ where Emily, my Mom, and Jean Coates put together a gourmet baby shower - seriously gourmet.

JUNE - I went to Philadelphia for work and fell in LOVE! Also, being 6 months pregnant and travelling has it's perks. I got to skip a huge line in the bathroom at the airport. It was awesome.

JULY - Nephi and I both got new jobs! Major blessings. Also, my awesome sister-in-laws hosted a darling baby shower for me.

AUGUST - SOLD my car and BOUGHT a new car! Just in time for a new baby.

SEPTEMBER - Had our annual Eastern Idaho State Fair trip at almost 9 months pregnant AND Marlo Ingrid Guymon made her appearance 4 days late - September 7, 2014 (6 lbs. 9 oz.). Meet Marlo! My parents came and of course we had Nephi's family in town to welcome this cute little babe.

OCTOBER - I enjoyed maternity leave with Marlo and she celebrated her first Halloween as our little ducky.

NOVEMBER - Traveled to Spokane to spend Thanksgiving with Neal, Angie & Grayson! Had a blast and Marlo was a super traveler.

DECEMBER - Went home and had a sunny Christmas in AZ and a beautiful wedding for my baby sis, Caitlin.

Being pregnant almost all year will always make 2014 a special year for me and Nephi. Not only did we welcome a healthy baby girl, but we grew as a couple and literally as a family. Here is to another great year!

Mouth of Babes 2/9/13

We owe you some great stories and quotes, but we are a week behind. Forgive our memories but here are a few to hold you over until next week!

We gave them CTR rings. We are in love with them. 

K: (Laying across Mallory's lap.) Cough, cough...
Mallory: Uh, no, off now please.
K: Okay...(Walks away very sad.)

Comes back a few minutes later...

K: (Lays on lap and gets up to turn her head and cough and lays back down.) That was a close one.
Mallory: Yep, no coughing on me, please. I got really sick last week.
K: Am I going to get treats today?
Mallory: I don't know...
K: Okay. I won't cough anymore.

---

C: What's 44 + 5?
Nephi: 49...
C: Oh, can you show me?
Nephi: (Shows him how to add.)
C: So, 44 + 44 is 88!?

---

During singing time...

K: Uggghhhhhh...when are we going to go to the tiny classroom?!

(She asks this every week. The "tiny classroom" is our classroom for the 2nd hour.)

---
Mallory sat in between twins C & C and suddenly hears giggling.

C: (Giggle and speaks very quietly.) We're holding hands behind your chair...

Mallory turns around and they are holding hands.

---

Nephi is no longer in primary with me but he came to help me out this week because I was exhausted from traveling and didn't have the strength to do it on my own. The kids kind of knew he wasn't suppose to be there and we did explain to them that he won't be there every week but that we would visit occasionally.

About an hour after church, I look at my phone and notice I had a voicemail. I listen to the voicemail and it is from a cute boy in our class "C" Mom. She said that C has been crying since they've been home from church absolutely devastated that Brother Guymon wouldn't be coming back to class anymore. She said that they could not console him and that she just wanted to know what was going on so she knew how to explain it to him. Oh my...we died! Poor, C!

I called her back and explained. She said that he's been sulking and walking around the house since they've been home and they have been trying to distract him but that she just wanted to know what to tell him. She explained that C used to hate primary in their last ward and loves it now. He was supposedly quite the trouble maker which is completely opposite of what we see in him. She thanked, and thanked us for helping C have such a positive experience and that she can tell that he is actually learning. Every week he comes home and talks a mile a minute about church. She was so grateful.

First of all, I cried. Second of all, Nephi is the COOLEST person in the world. I have huge shoes to fill. I think candy will work. ;)

Post-Christmas Update

The holiday's took our life by storm and we loved it! We could not have asked for a better Christmas and feel blessed and spoiled for the time and gifts we received from family and friends.

Recovery, although, has been difficult. Nephi started school and I started first quarter. The past 2 weeks have consisted of Nephi driving to Rexburg every day and being home in the evenings doing homework and me working late nights, working out (tried out crossfit and it kicked my trash) and then coming home to doing more work in bed.

The good news is that we sold the Jeep! What a relief. The guy called on Thursday night and was really interested. He said he asked the usual questions and told Nephi he may be driving down from Washington to take a look, but that he would let him know. The next day (Friday) Nephi and I were on our way out the door to dinner and someone else called about the Jeep. Suddenly I hear Nephi say, "Oh darn, I just sold it." Wait, WHAT!? I was so confused! Apparently, the guy called Nephi back on Friday and told him that he was driving through the night and to not sell it to anyone else. Sure enough, he showed up on Saturday afternoon after leaving Washington at midnight and they bought the Jeep.

He was a really nice guy and his son was with him. He asked if we were selling it because we were expecting a baby--uh, no (you better believed I sucked in my stomach a little to make it obvious that I was not pregnant). It would be his son's first car. I think that made Nephi a little emotional. After they left I was so excited and Nephi was kind of quiet. I asked him why he was being such a bum and he snapped, "Just let me mourn!" Ha! I think he was half kidding...half serious...maybe more serious than kidding. Poor kid. But you better believe we went out and celebrated!

That was such a blessing to finally sell the Jeep. It's been listed since November and I have probably been stressing about it since June. Ha. The night he called I was driving home before I found out and had a very distinct thought that I needed to put more trust in the Lord when it came to the selling the Jeep. It was a simple decision that I needed to make but I literally up until that point had chosen to stress about it. The Lord works miracles, no doubt!

We also set our New Year Resolutions. We are so excited for another year. I don't even want to do a re-cap of last year like every other person has done on their blog because I am so happy it's over. I have never been more excited to turn a page of my life more than right now. We set lofty goals but we made plans to achieve them. Growing up, my Dad would sit us down individually and make up goals with us. On January 1st, we would wake up in the morning and it would be taped up in our room for us to see for the first week. We did that this year and it's been a great reminder thus far. 

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

The Vlogs

This is Nephi. Once in a while I post something. Today I'm posting our most recent vlogs from YouTube. You can subscribe to the YouTube channel if you want. Enjoy.

Why I haven't Been Blogging

It's been 3 weeks. Not since I last blogged, but since I was laid off from my job...

Three weeks ago I was laid off from my job at JD Premium. Life since then has been full of up's and down's for Nephi and I. Mostly I haven't blogged because it's hard to know where to start. But today, after starting my new job, I felt it was time to share with our friends and family.

It was a normal Tuesday morning. I was catching up on emails and following up on a great project we just started working on. The few weeks prior to this I had been having a hard time with the company. The management above me were not communicating well and I felt worthless. But, I talked with my superior and had a great break through. Little did we both know that our break through would now become worthless.

The owner of the company pulled the CEO, VP of Marketing, Operations Manager, and Myself all into his office separately and told us the news. His involvement in the company until this point was limited so I was surprised when he wanted to meet with me privately.

When he told me I was actually not shocked. He told me that the family had met and that they no longer felt that they could pour in thousands of dollars into the company each month and that they were letting all 4 of us go (CEO, VP of Marketing, and Operations Manager). I put on a strong face and said that I understood. At the time, I felt like he handled the situation well but it got progressively worse.

Before I go on, it's important to note my feelings towards that company as a whole. I hope the best for JD Premium and believe they have great products. They are now left with less than 10 people in the office and they need all the luck they can get. 

After I left the office, I grabbed my phone and went to my car. My first call was to Nephi, of course. I stayed calmed and he was shocked. He hadn't left for school yet and said he would drive instead of carpool so he could come home right after class.

My next call was to my good friend. The Friday before this happened I had interviewed with the company she works for, for my dream job. I am grateful that the Lord prepared me for this hardship by helping me feel that there was immediate hope for my career. I lost it on the phone with her and I am surprise she heard a word I said. She has been an incredible support throughout this whole process. *I will explain what happened to that job later.*

I finally gathered myself enough to go back into the office. My head was spinning. What do I do? Do I stay? Do I go home? Who do I tell? Do I tell anyone? Why is this happening to me?

I walked down the hall and I could barely feel my legs. The CEO came out of his office and smiled at me. I asked him if he had a moment and he invited me into his office and as soon as I sat in the chair, I started bawling. He listened as I expressed my biggest fears. His words and tone was the ultimate comfort for me at that point. He was an incredible boss and I will miss working with him.

I went back to my office and called my mom and then the embarrassment began. As I told my mom she was also shocked. This response began to make me realize that people do not know how to react to this news. I can't blame them. What do you say to a person that was just laid off?

"I'm sorry..."

"You deserve better!"

"You will find another job."

"That sucks."

Oh gosh. None of those responses made me feel better and I quickly grew irrational. At this point I decided to not tell anyone. While I know there are many people out there that love and support me, this circumstance threw me into a state of mind that was more sensitive than expected. My pride in my works and accomplishments was slashed and I honestly felt that no one could understand the way I was feeling.

Nephi and I made the decision as a family that I would work and be the primary income builder while he finished school. Nephi is more than willing to work more but I wanted more than anything for him to finish school without having to work 20 hours a week (which is a luxury I would have killed for). I know there are many people who are anti women putting their work before starting a family. For us, we felt like this is a path is what is best for us. My decision to work is a personal one as well. While some people get "high" off of running marathons, making cookies, having babies, buying cars, blogging--mine is working. And especially working in marketing.

The company asked that I worked until the end of the month to wrap up projects and turn things over. At the time, this request seemed valid. They said they would pay me and at this point I couldn't turn down a pay check--no matter how hard it would be to return to work. Little did I know the terrible weeks that would approached me.

Like I said, this all happened on a Tuesday. Blah. That meant that I had to go in the rest of the week. You better believe that I ate way too much junk food, stayed up late, slept in, went to work late and left early. I didn't have much to work on and I could barely stomach being in the office. Most days I left sick enough to have to leave anyway.

I cried every night, spent a lot of time searching for jobs, and had several leads and contacts. That weekend I found out that I didn't get that dream job with my friends company. Two days before that I was in the temple and had a distinct feeling that I wouldn't get that job. This made me scared. This would be my first job EVER that I applied for and didn't get. Now, I am not bragging. I just choose jobs that I know I am qualified for. That Saturday I found out I didn't get the job. I wasn't crushed because I truly felt that they Lord had prepared me to receive that answer. God is good. I have learned that.

At this point I started to panic. I always slept well, but it was waking up that was hard. Reality lately was weighing me down and my pillow was suddenly more comfy. Nephi and I had many talks and played out many scenarios. He checked up on me constantly and I can proudly say that this situation brought Nephi and I closer than ever. We have always prided ourselves on being a great team and this situation made us strong. I can never thank the Lord enough for bringing us closer rather than farther away.

Now, let me just mention the insensitivity. If I didn't tell you what happened, it was for your protection and for mine. There were too many circumstances that happened in such a short period of time where people were insensitive so I am grateful we kept that number as limited as possible. It even got to the point where the office had a "party" for us and signed a goodbye card. One woman wrote in the card, and I quote, "I am glad I at least got to know you a little bit." Man. Keep in mind this lady was very bitter when I started at the company because I took over a lot of her responsibilities. She never expressed one ounce of remorse for us being laid off and I honestly never saw her so happy. Just the thought of her makes me sick. I am working on that personal resolution now.

So I mentioned they had a party, right? Yeah. It was awkward. I sat next to the man who laid me off and I almost threw up in his lap like ten times. I think we were in the conference room for 10 minutes but it felt like days. It was nice of them to do that but I couldn't handle the awkwardness. I have never been good at that...But, I do need to mention there were 2 people in the office who were very kind. The others I won't go into details about my feelings about them. I am getting over it one day at a time.

Naturally, the company handled things poorly. They are a small company and things were very scattered and people were confused. They told the people in the company that we chose to go a different direction but it was economical. I felt completely confident in my work in the company. The owner assured me that it wasn't a performance thing and although that was reassuring, I didn't need him to tell me that. I am very proud of my work at JD Premium and like I said, they have great products and I wish them the best.

On Tuesday last week I received a job offer. The position was great, less pay, but still great. I didn't feel the best about it so I decided to call the other company I was waiting on an answer from to let them know I received an offer. The recruiter gave me confidence and told me to wait till Thursday and that they would call me back. At this point, I had been very hard on myself. After being rejected from that other company, I felt that I wasn't good enough. I felt like a failure and that my college education and experience was worth nothing. After I got off the phone with him, Nephi was in the room and I immediately started bawling. I fell to my knees and I don't know if I have ever been that grateful. The Lord's hand was in the whole thing and we are so blessed.

So, today I started my first day of my new job. It was great. I now work for a much larger, stable, and more successful company. My salary is more, the benefits are 110% better AND I got a sign on bonus. At this time, I am not going to reveal where I am working for certain purposes. Friends and family can call/text/email to ask and we will let you know.

There were a handful of people that were very supportive throughout this whole process, including my family. My Mom, Sister, Aunt and Cousin came and spent the week with me last week and it was EXACTLY what I needed.

We have felt so blessed during this whole situation. For me to only be jobless for only 1 week (technically) was remarkable. Nephi is a trooper. Seriously the best. We celebrated this weekend by eating out and shopping. It was great.

Now starts kind of a new chapter in our lives. My advice to all those going through this situation of those who know someone going through this situation is to be kind, aware, and prayerful. I know the prayers of others is why we are here today. I will never take for granted waking up early and coming home late from a job that puts food on the table and I hope you won't too.

They Called Us Angels

Nephi's brother and sister-in-law started an charity project 3 years ago when their sweet boy Jayden died shortly after birth. It's called, Calling All Angels. {<---Check out the blog for more details.}

Yesterday was Jayden's birthday and Nephi and I gathered some blankets and took it to the hospital. Although we were only able to gather a dozen, it still made a difference. When we gave them to the nurse she said that we must be angels because they are currently running low. Nephi and I were so happy to donate and part of such a great cause.

Ignore my squinty eyes and Nephi's sun burn...

In the past they have organized it in a way that you would send your blankets and a picture of you to them and they would donate them. This year, you could just take them to whatever hospital you want but still send them a picture. I LOVED doing it and next year I hope to get more family and friends involved like my other sister-in-law did this year. Kira rocked it and collected over 300 blankets!

I would encourage you all to donate wherever you are. It's not time consuming AT ALL. You don't have to make them...I didn't! We just bought some baby receiving blankets and delivered those. Every blanket counts so if you can only take one, take it! If you have questions, check out this Q&A and the blog for more details, or feel free to contact me.

Even though I never got to meet sweet Jayden, I feel like I know him because I know his parents. They are those kind of people you to be like when you grow up and I feel blessed to call them family!

Say a little prayer for...

Say a little prayer for...

1. People in Dallas. Natural disasters are the worst. Totally out of your control. Good thing there are no fatalities as of yet.

2. People of Yahoo. Sad day when a multi-billion dollar company that played a role in starting the world wide web is laying off 2,000 people. Uh. My heart aches for anyone who is laid off. No one is safe.

3. The election. Don't get me started. Just pray, a lot.

4. My Nephi. It's finals. Enough said.

5. The Guymon's...We found an amazing place last night and just submitted an application. Let's hope there isn't some freak accident and I show up as some criminal in their search for "Mallory Smith". (Still haven't changed my name. Don't bring it up in front of Nephi. That is a sensitive subject too. You can pray that we get our marriage license in the mail sometime soon...1 year later.)

6. One last thing...pray that the pizza I ate at midnight last night won't go to my hips.

Thank you in advance. 

*Oh, and Mom, you especially need to pray.*

  {For some reason, her prayers are always answered. If you need a prayer, ask her.}

                                                                   Source: itworksforbobbi.com via Mallory on Pinterest

Too much shopping dangit.

Yesterday I got this overwhelming urge to shop online. Don't ask why. I have never ordered clothes online.

It was so strange. So, I got some clothes online because Old Navy was having a sale. I haven't shopped there in a while because I never find anything anymore but I did and it was 30% off and Nephi said I could. (Excuses, excuses, I know.) Am I a bad person? Probably not. But it gets worse...

Last night Nephi took his first Chemistry test of the semester. Those who know Nephi personally know his struggle with Chemistry so we were both anxious to see how this first test would set the tone for the semester. Yesterday afternoon I called him and he said his dad was in town to grocery shop randomly and that he was going to give Nephi a blessing. What a miracle! Nephi is the most calm and collected person I know but he was very anxious and the blessing was exactly what he needed.

Boyd--You saved the day yesterday! 

Nephi was studying on campus when I got home and then took his test. I was seriously biting my nails the whole time at home because I know how critical this was. (First world problems, I know. But it means a lot to us.) I told him not to take over two hours because there has been studies showing that once you take a test over two hours you don't function as well. In economics we would call it the "Law of Diminishing Returns", but I am no longer in economics so I DON'T have to call it that. (But I did. Psh. Education.)


Two hours and 3 min later...Nephi calls. He got a 78%!! This is a GREAT grade and we were so happy so we decided to celebrate, of course. We tried to go to our favorite fro yo place but it was CLOSED down! We were shocked. So, we went to another place in town.

It was so good! It's been awhile since we've gotten fro yo and we loved it. 

Anyway, when I said it gets worse, here comes that part of the story. On our way home from fro yo, we passed by the Downeast Warehouse sale. UH. No one told me this was happening! I've been to one of these before, and they are insane deals. So, I bought more clothes. Now am I a bad person??

Maybe. 

Got this cutie shirt for Nephi. There were no boy clothes! It's so hard to find good clothes for men. 

I got 2 cardigans and two 3/4 length layer tees for $32 total! I couldn't resist. 

So, why am I blogging this? Maybe to feel less guilty or maybe to admit that I realized why I spent too much money on clothes yesterday.  

THIS is  probably why. 

It's not that it is so cold outside but I have had low energy levels this week and I think buying clothes made me feel better. I may be tired because of adjusting to work? Or because we have been working out more? Or because the weather? Not sure but I just need energy! 

This next week I plan on doing more of this: 

and this:

And hopefully I will have more energy.


PS-Many of you probably follow this blogger. Read this post. I am impressed. I started following her out of curiosity and then she used to really bug me and I don't like her style at all but I appreciate her view points occasionally--especially this one.

I completely agree with her, btw. People who blog by obligation lack sincerity. I don't think that people that blog about fashion (without credentials) and try to earn a residual income are very legitimate in my book. Personal opinion. I love the mommy bloggers that blog about their families and recipes or coupons but people who blog about what they eat everyday or what they wear and expect to get paid for it drive me nuts.


Anyways, excited for the weekend to say the least.