Our Missions & Our Marriage

After the exciting announcement made at General Conference, Nephi and I began reminiscing about our missions. {We were able to watch all 4 sessions together, which was a huge blessing.}

Nephi was so jealous that he didn't have the opportunity to serve his mission at age 18. He would have loved to graduate high school and go straight to the mission field! Me, on the other hand, I don't think I would have served at 19. I didn't officially decide that I was going to serve a mission until I was 20 and I wanted to go as soon as I could so if I wasn't ready by 19, I don't think I would have gone. Just goes to show the Lord knows best!

My thoughts have been to those girls and boys who are 18 & 19 that I know. Boys, how awesome that you get to go right away! No time waiting around or getting "distracted." And girls, you can go out with your "sweetheart" and get back around the same time, OR, you can go, and come back and still go to school and get adjusted back into life. (Going back to school was the only way I survived coming home from my mission.)

And most importantly, I thought, "BOTH OF YOU GO ON MISSIONS BECAUSE IT MAKES YOUR MARRIAGE SO MUCH BETTER!" Ahem, sorry for the all-caps.

They always tell you that going on a mission will help you in dating, marriage, and relationships in general. I didn't really understand that until now, after being married for a year or so. Nephi and I met after I had been home from my mission for 4 months. I was still kind of weird, planned every minute of my day, and was still crying myself to sleep because I missed my mission SO much. Nephi's goal was to make me "normal"...I think it worked? Ha. He had been home for 2 years so it was fun for him to talk about the mission with me but he had obviously adjusted just fine by then.

While we were dating, we talked about our missions a lot. It was a easy topic to help us get to know each other and avoid awkward moments. We met each others companions and mission "buddies". The hardest parts were fighting over which mission was better and conflicting mission reunions. But we made it through and got married.

Now, I finally understand why our missions have helped our marriage! We talked about it and here are a few reasons of how it helps us in our marriage:

• I (Mallory) recognized TRUE love as a missionary. That helps me everyday to love him. 
• Being around someone 24/7 (which rarely happens with us) is a skill which we developed. That helps us when we have those rare moments where we get annoyed with each other--we remember it could be worse! ;) 
• SERVING!!! I knew how to serve people before my mission, but the TRUE, un-selfish service that you render as a missionary helps you as a spouse. You don't seek anything in return. 
• Compromise...Nephi had a companion who wanted to go to McDonalds every day to play the Monopoly game and Nephi did it. He compromised and compromise daily. 
• Teaching is EVERYTHING. Now, we are teachers in primary and know how to teach with each other, bear testimony with each other, and commit our kids each week to being better. 
• We know how to fast & pray and the importance of prayer. 
• We know how to bear testimony to each other. It's never awkward for us to talk about spiritual things and be open and vulnerable. 
• WORK & SACRIFICE. Each working 30 plus hours with 18 plus credits...we know how to work. 
• Rolling with the punches is how we cope. Change is not rare as a missionary and isn't rare as a newly married couple as well. 
• Scripture power! We know how to read and use the scriptures in our marriage and in our personal struggles. 
• Communication (still working on it) is crucial as a missionary. In fact, you are required to have "companion inventory" once a week with your companion and be candid with each other. This also helped with being able to take criticism and avoid contention (my mission taught me to loath contention--it's uncomfortable). 
• Talking to random strangers is a common occurrence as a missionary. Nephi is the BEST at talking to strangers. He not only knows how to carry a conversation, but how to make them feel good about themselves and comfortable. He's the best. 
• Budgeting was a personal thing on the mission, but we both have always had jobs and still know how to use our money when we are on our own thing. Soooo grateful that he is good with money. My mission taught me how to be good with money and only buy what I need (not that I don't buy things I want). 
• Using our time wisely and planning effectively was the only way to survive a mission--and I would add a marriage! Combining schedules is not easy but if you know how to use your time wisely, you always have time together. 
• Setting goals and making plans is what we do on a daily basis. I can't set a goal without making a plan to go along with it. Ask Nephi, I talk about it in my sleep. Literally. 

And the list goes on! I could talk about this forever, but I won't. Our missions mean EVERYTHING to us. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think about the people we met, loved, and served. We both were blessed to serve with amazing companions, mission presidents, and people. We contribute our success and happiness in our marriage to what we were taught as missionaries. 

So are you on the fence? Or have we convinced you? ;) 

Pictures: Mission, Dating, MARRIAGE!