If I can do it, YOU can do it!

**This is a long post.**

Over the past 6 months, I have been working hard to lose weight. In 2011 I gained a lot of unexpected weight. It was my last 2 semesters of college with 19 credits each semester, working 20-30 hours, family stress, and I was newly married. We spent a lot of time trying to find ways to cope with our new lifestyle and ended up avoiding the gym, camping out in the library, and "rewarding" ourselves with a little too much frozen yogurt. These are not excuses, this was reality. It was no one's fault but myself but after I graduated, I was determined to change.

Graduation came, my new "big girl job" started and life didn't get easier. 2012 was full of surprises and unfortunately  I gained more in the first few months. I was eating better, working out more, but not seeing results. Crisis after crisis happened and emotionally, I was tired. I needed HELP. I have lost weight on my own several times. Not just like 10lbs, but big numbers like 20-30lbs. Losing weight was not foreign to me.

In fact, as I reflect upon it, I feel like the majority of my life I have been on a diet. In 9th grade my Dad challenged us to not eat sugar for a year and he would pay us $1,000. I did it and within my first 3 months I dropped 30lbs. It wasn't until the summer after my sophomore year that I started gaining it back...then I went on another extreme diet (Jenny Craig) and lost another 30lbs. My softball and volleyball coaches were worried about how "thin" I was and my Mom thought I was showing signs of an eating disorder because she didn't see me eat as much (really I was just hanging out with my friends a lot more).

Anyway, now I am older (25) and terrified of the changes I am seeing happening to me physically and emotionally. I couldn't get the weight off fast enough and I needed help. I tried cutting sugar, cutting carbs, eating 5 small meals, not eating after 8 pm, doing a cleanse, drinking protein shakes--I tried it all. AND NOTHING. Ugh. It was embarrassing  I noticed, and I know people noticed. I was scared because I could just get on a treadmill and bust out 3 miles, but my body was too heavy to recover. I started having back problems even. Yikes.

So, I came to the realization that I couldn't do it on my own. I needed help, so I got help. I joined a program in July that provided all my meals, a meal plan and a health coach. Since then, I have lost 32 pounds. Here is a picture of me in July (left), and then now.

The picture of me in July (left) is a terrible picture. I really don't have a lot of full body shots of me because of course I think I look fat and it also makes me feel really awkward to ask someone to take a picture of me by myself, but that is what I looked like. Nephi can see a difference but honestly I haven't had too many people mention it to me. It's discouraging that certain people don't say anything but I can't depend on them to make me happy. Big shout out to my father-in-law for ALWAYS making me feel great when he would see me. It means a lot, Boyd. Thanks!

I also chopped 13+ inches off my hair! I have been wanting to do it since after we got married but always felt too fat to pull it off. Now I have a little more confidence and I am hoping it will help remind me that I can't put the weight back on! I LOVE my cut. I can make it shorter or longer, it curls great, and it's all ONE color--my natural color. It's been a while since I have had that. Ha!

The program has been a huge blessing and support. I haven't shared it with many people because again, I was embarrassed that I couldn't do it on my own. But, the results are in and I feel great and I can't be embarrassed any more because it is all uphill from here!

I struggled on the program in the beginning BIG time. I loved that it was easy, the food isn't that bad, and I still got to eat 1 normal meal a day. But, you literally cannot cheat and I did. I thought having a bite and lick here or there was fine. It's not fine. This is a lifestyle change, not just a temporary diet. I needed to hit the books, change my habits, and create my future.

Losing 32lbs was hard, but most people do it a lot faster than me. But, the nice thing is, those are solid pounds. Occasionally I will fluctuate, but most of the time when I drop a pound, I don't see it on the scale again and it feels so good! I won't share any more details about the program but if you are interested, reach out to me and I can get you more information. :)

So this is one of my resolutions! I am confronting my fears and sharing this with everyone, and I am going to stay accountable. I've been feeling brave because we have been watching the Biggest Loser and it's totally inspired me to suck it up and let it out.

I still have another 25 to go to get to my goal but I will get there! Keep me accountable!